How to Catch a Liar?

Everyone lies and many get caught. While white or small lies don’t cause any problem when caught.. To the liar the reaction is totally opposite when the lies are at a very big scale and meant to destroy personal, professional or relationships.
Many people have asked me for tips on how to identify a liar, and identify if the liar will repeat this behaviour again.
As an expert in human psychology and psychiatry I will tell you of the small things you can keep in mind. When caught, the brain of the liar goes in complete shut down mode. It looks for ways to save itself from the situation. In such a case, the following happen –
1. Sudden increase in stress chemicals and hormones in the blood.
2. Increased sweating, followed by feeling extremely hot.
3. Trembling of hands &/or legs
4. Difficulty breathing or feeling choked.
5. Very high heartbeat
6. Dizziness or feeling faint
7. a sensation of butterflies in the stomach
8. Blood Pressure shooting up dangerously
A liar on being caught feels very uncomfortable, and the normal defense reactions to the above are –
– further lying to protect the initial lie
– blaming and throwing guilt on others.
– getting excessively angry
– demeaning or sarcastic comments justifying their wrong
– Using the above symptoms to fake fainting, chest pain (fake heart attacks) and fake crying.
A pathological liar, is the one dangerous category of liars who has perfected the art of masking. All of the above don’t effect him. He is a master of bluff. Such an individual can be treated only through medicines.
A person lying due to anxiety or fear, will show very prominent symptoms from the above mentioned. He/she also needs a proper medicine treatment to stop lying.
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The Shy Husband or Mommy’s Boy?

A micro-segment of the society which is taken for granted and insulted constantly is “the shy husband or Mommy’s Boy”.
This category includes men who haven’t been able to become independent from their mothers and in severe cases end up sacrificing their own relationship for “mothers sake”.
So why is a psychiatrist like me writing about this. Because this behaviour pattern is a sign of incomplete personality due to lack of proper knowledge, counselling or guidance.
On a first look its impossible to diagnose and categorise such a person. Lets look at the finer psychological details of such a person and why its an “incomplete personality”.
Situation No.1 – Their wife is wrongly being accused of something by mother, they will rely on one or more of the following behaviour patterns –
– remain passive and quiet
– avoiding eye contact with wife
– try to induce guilt in her or ask her to comply as per mother.
– avoid accepting the right and getting angry
– speak quietly
– avoiding behaviour like drinking, watching a movie or going to sleep rather than discussing and finding solutions to the same.
Situation No.2 – They are supposed to take a decision against their mother’s will and in favour of their wife. They will experience 3 or more of the following-
– fast heart beat
– dry mouth
– shaking hands or body
– sweating
– blushing
– feeling faint or dizzy
– excessive anger
– fear of losing control
– chest pain
Situation No.3 – Whenever they have to mediate between their mother and wife, they would choose their mothers side without getting into the depth of a situation. Because they aren’t equipped to fight their own mind which will produce –
– negative thoughts about self
– excessive fear on how their mother will negatively judge them
– How they will not be the “perfect son” in front of society.
– They might blame themself for not being strong enough to calm and control their wife’s behaviour.
– thinking ‘I don’t fit in’ or ‘I’m unattractive’ and wife would have been better married to someone else.
The reason the above 3 situations arise, is that such personalities are incomplete. They haven’t been taught the following basic techniques –
1. How to analyse and fight embarrassment. ?
2. How to win over a low self-esteem?
3. Reality of relationships and boundaries that need to be drawn?
4. Self worth?
5. Meaning of Marriage and Spouse?
For Further Query on this topic, whatsapp or email me. All conversations are deleted immediately upon culmination.
– Dr.Hemant(Life Problems Solving coach)
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The Stressed Daughter-in-law (TSD)?

I write a lot about those micro-segments of the society that are easily neglected and taken for granted. The issue with this segment, is that most people feel they “over-react” and their “depression” is easily curable by developing “positive thoughts”.
One of the categories of this segment is “the stressed daughter-in-law”.
Lets define what this means –
No lady wants to be stressed. And specially no woman who is getting married. She enter the marriage with loads of expectations. She expects her partner to fullfil these and doesn’t want to be a “home breaker” or a “son stealer”
But what happens when her expectations aren’t met?
What happens when she finds it difficult to adjust?
It gives rise to extreme amount of stress.
What does this high stress level do?
It brings about hormonal and chemical changes in her body. At a common level the easiest way to diagnose this is by looking at her photos. You will observe that she starts loose her beauty, her skin isn’t as good as before, hairfall comes along and there are changes in weight.
At a more indepth psychiatric level, the medical examination focuses on a check list of symptoms that arise due to the chemical and hormonal imbalance due to stress.
1. Overthinking – Excessive worry and tension about any issue at home.
Sometimes the overthinking pushes to over-analyse and develop unrealistic stories and thoughts.
2.High Restlessness to not be “in the line of fire” makes one commit more mistakes and want to run away from that place.
3.High mood swings with anger, crying and Irritability at its maximum.
4.Headaches and Muscle tensions/pains happen in an easily identifiable pattern.
5. Loss of Memory and Difficulty in concentrating
6. Stomach upset – Acidity and vomiting feeling being present.
7. A very frequent need to go to the bathroom.
8. High level of tiredness, to the extent of bad sexual performance.
9. Trouble falling or staying asleep
10. Constantly falling ill. With fever, rashes and acne being prominently seen.
11. Shaking at the mere mention of the mother-in-law, sister-in-law or any other family member.
12. Hating or Dislike for husband. Not understanding his ways of helping and looking at him as inept.
Presence of 7 or more of the above suggest that Stress has a physical impact. In other words, it has moved away from just being a “thought process” to being a “medical illness” that needs immediate cure.
Getting the cure or not is your choice?
Stress once activated, will slowly and microscopically destroy your brain making it vulnerable to future complications.
For further consult on the matter, you can whatsapp or email me. All conversations are kept secret and deleted immediately after their culmination.
Dr.Hemant(Life Problem Solving Coach)
Email –

Conscious Emotional Control