Just had to Share…
Its nearly 2:30 in the morning and I’m sure most of you won’t read this till tomorrow. Actually I could have also waited to post it tomorrow, but something inside of me just wanted to put it out there.
My normal daily routine involves shutting my clinic between 10-10:30pm. Today was no different, I was just about to call it a day, when my phone rang.
It was a lady. In a very hurried and panicked voice she asked if she could get an appointment immediately.
Since I was in the clinic, I asked her to come over.
In less than 2min. a middle-aged lady was standing at my door.
Disheveled, panicky, with her hair undone and a big patch of redness on the right side of her face.
As she sat down, she hurriedly explained that her car was parked outside and she just tried her luck at dialing my number.
I asked her what was the hurry.. She could have jolly well taken an appointment for next morning.
To which she replied, “I was about to commit suicide.. Had I not got through your number.. I would have killed myself in less than 10min.”
I come through many such cases in my life, but very few had the conviction she had in her eyes.
She went to tell me, that the big red patch on her face was the result of a frying pan thrown onto her by her mother-in-law few minutes ago.
To add insult to injury, her husband was standing watching all this drama and just asking her to keep quiet…
When she threatened to go to the Police, he dared her with consequences. In a fit of anger, he held her hand, shouted some explicit insults at full volume and threw her outside the flat.. locking the door from behind.
The irony was this wasn’t the first time this had happened. She had gone through this humiliation at least 6 times in the last 1 year itself. And countless times in the last 6years of marriage.
Each and every time she had to spend the night outside the home and finally beg to be taken back inside.
The First time she spent the whole night pleading and crying at the door.
The next time she was in her night gown and had to ask the neighbours for shelter.
Once her mother-in-law hit her in the abdomen while she was menstruating. She spent the whole night in the car, crying, battling pain and bleeding.
And one time she was barefoot, so had to walk 2kms to a friends house for help.
She tried to contain her tears and give a brave smile.. while saying that after the first two times she had made it an habit to keep the car keys and mobile phone glued to her all the time. They where her life line.
Before today she had thought of suicide a million times. She had spoken about it to her parents, who had asked her to keep patience. She had spoken to her friends, who had asked her to have a baby. She had even spoken to her gym trainer, who had asked her to fight back. Everyone was busy showing her a “false hope”, and nobody wanted to understand or listen to her.
What was different Today?
Her mind had given up.
She was just sitting and crying in her car when she noticed my clinic.
She didn’t know me or had searched online.. For the last time, She just wanted to meet a neutral person who could answer in Yes or No to one question – “was she actually such a bad person, who deserved all this?”
If the answer was Yes she would die feeling that she deserved it.
If the answer was No she would die peacefully.
As we started to speak, she just wanted a Yes or No from me. From that point We spoke for nearly 2 hours. Finally a friend of her arrived and she took off towards the police station.
She promised me, she would get her life back.
As I walked towards my car… My mind wandered
- Tonight one woman would have killed herself because so many people she spoke too never listened.
- Tonight one life would have been wasted, because “you have to adjust and be good” is the greatest lie ever told to us.
- Tonight one woman would have died because another woman and her son are mentally handicapped by ego and anger.
- Tonight one woman would have taken her life, because “Separation” is a false social fear that blinds you from understanding the importance of self-respect, health and self-love.
To YOU who has taken the efforts to read all the way down here… This post isn’t about the like or share… But I request you – For one moment just sit down and reflect.. There are so many ways in which you can help others and help yourself. !!
Life is Precious..!!
Dr.Hemant Mittal (Psychiatrist and Motivational Writer/Speaker)